I haven’t BLOGged in awhile, and need some shameless RSS-feed filler until I get the time and motivation for more serious subjects. So as a lifelong country-music listener, I offer you twenty of the most memorable, classic lines from country songs that I know, in no particular order:
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“Forget mathematical equations, self-help psychology.”
“He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.”
“Sister calls herself a sexy grandma; brother’s on a diet for high cholesterol.”
“I like beer. It makes me a jolly good fellow.”
“Some thought he had religion, others thought he had a demon, and Harv thought he had a Weed Eater loose in his Fruit of the Looms.”
“I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.”
“You’re the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin’.”
“She thinks my tractor’s sexy; it really turns her on.”
“I got a star on my car and one on my chest, a gun on my hip and the right to arrest.”
“Who’s gonna collect my welfare and pay for my Cadillac?”
“The dealer had a knife and the dog had a gun, and the cat had a shot of rye.”
“We talk about your skin and the dimples on your chin, the polish on your toes and the run in your hose.”
“Later on his wife brought hot bologna, eggs and gravy. The first day I was there I turned it down.”
“O Lord, for these haircuts we are about to receive, may we be truly thankful, dominus possum pox probiscus post-mortem et tu Brute cruella carborundum.”
“They threw this drunk man in my jail cell. I took $15 from that man.”
“We rolled up Interstate 44 like a rocket sled on rails.”
“I got the hoss and you got the saddle.”
“I ain’t never been on welfare, and that’s one place I won’t be, ’cause I’ll be workin’, as long as my two hands are fit to use.”
“The beer I had for breakfast wasn’t bad, so I had one more for dessert.”
“I do not have one thing against you, sweet lady; I just wish you were someone I loved.”