Infamous Storm-Intercept Quotations

In the 1990s heydays of weather-discussion e-mail groups WX-CHASE, WX-TALK, and the private storm-observing listserv CFDG (now defunct), I had built up quite a collection of odd and funny storm-chasing quotes uttered from the mouths of assorted companions afield, anonymized so as not to implicate the guilty. A few more were added to the stack in the 2000s as CFDG shifted to a web forum (also defunct).

Fellow storm observers found plenty of amusement in these “.sigs”, one of which I pasted at random at the bottom of each post. That no longer is possible following the extinction and/or my disuse of those listservs and fora.

So that they may re-amuse the nostalgic, and for posterity’s preservation sake, and before I toss my old PC and/or the hard drive finally fries, I offer all the old quote signatures here that I could find. These represent the most memorable quotes, on chases, by folks I’ve chased with. The full .sig lines are reproduced below, in no particular order. Enjoy!

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“It was sort of almost maybe in the place you’d want to see for a storm like that.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2012
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::
“I FEAST ON THE SMORGASBORD OF ATMOSPHERIC VIOLENCE.”

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Torn between two towers, feeling like a fool. Chasing them both is breaking all the rules.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2011
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::
“I FEAST ON THE SMORGASBORD OF ATMOSPHERIC VIOLENCE.”

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Give me 40 acres and I’ll turn this Meatwagon around!”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1993
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::
“I FEAST ON THE SMORGASBORD OF ATMOSPHERIC VIOLENCE.”

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Just the angular momentum has to @$#%& do it! Come on!!!”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::
“I FEAST ON THE SMORGASBORD OF ATMOSPHERIC VIOLENCE.”

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Let’s forget this tornado chasing and go look for Bigfoot.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2006
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::
“I FEAST ON THE SMORGASBORD OF ATMOSPHERIC VIOLENCE.”

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“You got me outflanked with this granola-chewing, hippie-loving phone.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2009
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“There’s a deadly tower right in front of us–totally deadly.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2011
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“I don’t understand, meteorologically or common-sensically, what the deal is here.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Roger’s been farting all the time.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2005
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“We have a lot of generic hail for no apparent reason.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2003
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Hey Geraldo, is there a toilet over there? My pipes are backed up, man.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2005
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“If I get killed, it’s my own fault. Now gimme the damn camera.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Something out of this is gonna do whatever’s going to happen.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1998
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“We’re west of Hays. Hays is east of here.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2005
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“I get the impression a lot of people go to jail around here.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2010
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“I’m a f%$%@!* legend!”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“A Meatwagon in motion tends to remain in motion.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1996
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Look at this, right overhead — MOOOOOOOOOOOVE”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“I’ve got a granola-loving, hippie-chewing phone.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2010
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“You have no common sense at all!”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Stop, for the sake of my sanity!”
— 2 different storm-intercept partners, 1986 and 1991
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Into the mud, scum queen!”
— Storm-intercept partner talking to arcus cloud, 2004
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Let’s follow this sheriff. He’ll get killed before we do.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“The atmosphere just grilled us up a sphincter burger.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1998
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“At least I got my toenails cut today.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2005
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“If we had a Wichita Falls type tornado, that would turn my underwear inside out with a turd brick.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2008
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Forget multiple vortexes, I want a single vortice.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2013
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“What IS the hell is that?”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“If you stop, stop slowly; or I fly back into the windshield.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“You don’t understand what the deal is with these wires and my leg!”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“A Meatwagon at rest tends to remain at rest.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1996
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

I Told You So, Now Trump Must Go

Fellow conservatives: except for a very few instances, I’ve been rather quiet on the new administration because I wanted to give it a chance to do right, and to carry the mantle of strong, traditional, foundational, home-and-hearth, middle American conservatism, rooted in both strength and humility, and most importantly, in the Word of God. I wanted Trump to succeed despite all the warning signs I saw and articulated to the contrary. Only four months in, and I’ve run out of all patience already. Enough!

The only substantial things he has done right were to choose Neil Gorsuch for the Supreme Court and James Mattis for Defense Secretary. All due credit there–somebody advised him well. However, all else has been a self-destructive circus sideshow and continual food source for the growing gaggle of stinking, howling, snarling, flea-bitten left-wing hyenas pouncing from every direction.

As you know, the greatest part of the reason I voted third party, and not for Trump, is because I did not trust him. His chronically and contemptibly immoral personal character (adultery, abusive personality, countless lies, etc.), wanton dishonesty, and faux-populist pandering to the least common denominator, were transparent as can be to me. As an old city-street rat, I’ve been around the block and can spot a con man miles away…and that’s exactly what he is. But some of you did not believe me.

I was on to his con game from the start (post from January 21…of last year!). And the true colors are showing. Instead of getting a swamp cleaner, he has become part of the swamp. He is a poser and a sellout, even more so than Obama was for some of the left-wing causes the latter championed before the 2008 election, then hypocritically abandoned.

Worse, Trump is going to hand our government over to the radical-leftist, tax-loving, debt-growing, social-engineering, Constitution-hating, moral-anarchist freakazoids, on a shiny silver platter, for decades to come, if he isn’t removed from office, and soon. This essay, “Donald Trump, Establishment Sellout“, articulates that fairly well. Excerpt:

    As a populist he’s a paper tiger, too lazy to figure out what policies he should champion and too incompetent and self-absorbed to fight for them.
    …he’s at war with the institutions that surround him because he behaves consistently erratically and inappropriately and dangerously, and perhaps criminally as well. Or perhaps not: All of this may still not rise to the level of impeachable offenses. But the conservatives rising to his defense need to recognize that there is no elite “counterrevolution” here for them to resist, because there is no Trump revolution in the first place.

As I predicted! And here we are, witnessing the most embarrassing, undignified, destructive, outrageous circus of incompetence the Presidency has seen, which is no small feat.

The sooner we conservatives realize that we’d be far better off with Pence in and Trump out, the better…if nothing else, to stop the hemorrhagic blood loss and temper damage to our cause for the future. I am not jumping off the Trump train at all–because I never was on it, and you know this. I’m simply stating: “I told you so.” That’s right, I told you, even before he took office and right after the election, that Trump was betraying you already. Excerpt:

    Instead we’ll get Trump’s own brand of banana-republic tomfoolery, which has begun in his highly disappointing selection of fringe nutjobs, Washington political insiders, and Wall Street oligarchs — the very people he seemed to oppose throughout the process. Trump is betraying you already, fellow conservatives who voted for him, and don’t say I did not warn you of this.

…and that has continued.

Now let’s encourage Congress to rid the Oval Office of this scourge once and for all, by either invoking the 25th Amendment (though there are good arguments against that) or impeaching him. Drain the biggest monster in the swamp, fast, before it consumes our once-great Republic!

Scattershooting 170513

Scattershooting while wondering what happened to the SHIFT key on many Internet users’ keyboards…

HAZARDOUS-WEATHER FORECASTING and COMMUNICATION:
It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of so-called “Impact Based Warning” text statements, given their purely and entirely reactionary origins in the Joplin tornado event, their objectively unproven socioeconomic contribution, and their implementation without thorough and extensive social-science vetting (by that, I mean rooted in a priori formally published research specifically justifying them). Instead IBWs were hurried to use in order to put on a show, yes, a show, that something — anything — was being done about focusing on “impact” as well as the weather itself. Or to put it concisely: reactionary window dressing. Then recently, assorted peanut-gallery commenters in social media whined that a watch in a “high risk” outlook wasn’t buzzed PDS (“Particularly Dangerous Situation”). Obviously such complainers are not cognizant enough of the outlook/watch process to realize that a watch in an outlook area can be (and was) for a different, earlier, not-as-dangerous part of the threat evolution as what was discussed in the outlook for later in the day, despite being over some of the same geographic region. News flash: more than one round of severe weather can happen over the same area, and the threat in each can be a lot different! All that said: Chuck Doswell, thank you for saving me time in ranting about this much further, because you already have expressed essentially the same sentiments, in this BLOG entry: “Wordsmithing the watches and warnings is not the path to improvement .” I won’t even post a comment on Chuck’s site because our thoughts match so closely that I have little, if anything, useful to add. Bravo and applause…

SECOND-GUESSERS of FORECASTS:
Except on seldom occasions, for the purposes of correction and education, I almost never engage Twitter trolls regarding controversial severe-storms-forecasting topics. It’s largely a waste of time trying to convince non-experts, who vastly overestimate their own understanding, who are clearly ignorant of their level of ignorance. Like it or not, my approach is to apply a credibility filter to “feedback” about severe-weather forecasts, external or within-agency. The more scientific credentials and specialized severe-storms prediction experience on the part of the source, the more value I assign to their feedback. Don’t like that policy? Look in the mirror for the solution. Quite bluntly: gain credibility. This means years and years of dedication, effort, and diligence. Get educated and experienced. Do research. Publish papers. Forecast nationally over many years and many scenarios. If that sounds exclusive, that’s because it is. The ranks of world-class severe-weather prediction experts are exceedingly small, and most work in one office. The farther removed a source of feedback is from that level of expertise, the less and less credibility that source has.

PUTTING YOUR ACTIONS WHERE YOUR WORDS ARE:
Put your actions where your ideals are, or those ideals are just characters on a computer screen. They mean nothing more. That is a matter of principle, and many examples abound in life. To wit: At least a dozen individuals I know on Facebook, and many more of their sycophantic commenters, have supported allowing young-adult male “refugees” from Islamic-majority nations into America. Some even try to manipulatively lay the “bad Christian” guilt trip on you — as if the cafeteria-Christian left would know diddly-squat about Christian ethics anyway. And yet…and yet…not one of them (Christian, atheist or otherwise) has a combat-age male Muslim “refugee” living in his or her home. In fact, I know of none yet who have housed any Muslim “refugees”, nor personally subsidized their housing elsewhere. There you go. From that alone, and nothing else, we see the deeper truth about the (lack of) authenticity of their conviction. The real test of principle is in actions, not words.

← Previous PageNext Page →