No Excuse Zone: Their Cars are More Important than Yours

Months and months have passed since the previous in the series of No Excuse Zone entries in this here BLOG. Could civilization be so fortunate as to cease revealing examples of self-absorbed boneheads, clueless morons and careless slackers? Sadly, no. I’ve got two at once now, courtesy of two thoughtless fools on the east and west side of Norman this weekend, who are convinced that their vehicles are so special they deserve two parking spaces.

Selfish dolt number one decided his pickup simply was too big and/or too important for one space (wrong and more wrong!), on the north side of Saltgrass’ parking lot, Interstate Drive between Main and Robinson, Friday around sunset.

If the precious pickup is too pretty and nice to get dinged by a car door or fit a little snug in the space, then either keep it at home, or park it elsewhere, farther away, with more room (but still in just one space). 35 feet from the door of Saltgrass on a busy Friday night? Inexcusable. If I managed the place, I would get on the P.A. and announce, “Will the self-centered bozo who parked his pickup across two spaces please move it elsewhere, or we WILL call a tow truck immediately,” to which a round of applause likely would reverberate through the entire eatery.

Selfish dolt number two parked his/her cute little white Chevy like this midday Saturday, between Cane’s and Jamba Juice, 12th and Alameda…

I can forgive parking on, or even a few inches over, the line…it may be that a whole row of others did the same (not the case here), or somebody just had bad aim on any given day. But this is too far. Move it over!

Yes, these jackasses’ vehicles must be more special than yours or mine, because they somehow must take up substantial parts of two spaces! And yes, the license plates are clearly visible, on purpose.

A good friend who owned a Corvette a few years ago explained people do this to protect their car from being bumped by doors. Unfortunately, this doesn’t account for vengeful human nature, as expressed to the extreme by this gem from xkcd.com:

I’ve known some folks who will open a door deliberately hard and wide into a vehicle like these, smack it with a shopping cart, or even use a key on it. But I don’t condone such behavior at all; it’s worse than the original act, and it is illegal. Nonetheless, the real world being how it is, drivers who park like this need to understand that it increases, not decreases, the risk of vehicle damage.

By contrast, I rather would take a photo and post it online for all the world to see. So here you go.

It’s ironic that I found these the same weekend that fellow storm connoisseur and BLOGger Der Wetterensager encountered the same problem in Lubbock. [He also used the above cartoon to make his point.]

The message is clear: You’re not the only person on this Earth, so don’t act like it.

Now, I don’t believe in complaints without solutions. The solution is simple: Park in one space! DUH.

[No Excuse Zone] An Inexcusable Triumvirate

I’ve got three “No Excuse Zone” entries accumulated just from the last few days, so instead of posting them one at a time, it’s a batch job instead!  In chronological order:

1. SPRINKLIN’ IN THE RAIN:  The sprinklers alongside Jenkins Ave., at the National Weather Center, were blasting water at full force in the rain as Tropical Storm Erin moved by.  Yes, rain was in the local forecast, even if most folks didn’t expect the 7-10 inch storm totals we got across Norman.  This comes just a few weeks after they were left on for most of a weekend, saturating soil and causing untold hundreds — perhaps thousands – of gallons of water waste down the parking lot.  I love that building, but there clearly still are some problems to iron out!

2. GLAD I MARRIED A SMART BLOND!  Stated by the attractive but self-evidently ignorant Kate Godwin of KOCO Channel 5 in OKC, on the night of Aug. 18:  “Water is accumulating on tree limbs and these limbs are now falling on power lines.”  There’s no adjective in my vocabulary that does justice to the monumental absurdity of that.  It speaks for itself!  Thanks MADman for showing me the video.

3. JUSTICE DEPT. SNOOPING ON LIL’ OL’ ME?  Grab your pencils, conspiracy freaks.  According to my activity log, a newly installed feature as of today, the domain 149.101.1.129 of the US Dept. of Justice (via nameserver JUSTICE2.USDOJ.GOV) ran a search for “accuweather” on my BLOG at about 1525 EDT (Washington time), 22 Aug 2007.  How long has this been going on?  Make of it what you will.  

[No Excuse Zone] One More Moron on the Loose in Norman

We just finished a fantastic vacation to the majestic Pacific Northwest with my daughter, while my son was in a camp for gifted kids near Tyler. More on the vacation later. In the meantime I must share a “Welcome back to Oklahoma!” moment that had nothing to do with the daytime temperatures, which even I must refer to as “hot.” [Personally I use Harold Taft’s old North Texas definition for “hot” — at least 100 deg F.]

Here I was in the Norman Lowe’s store yesterday (20 July, roughly 5 p.m.) buying five 40 lb. bags of salt for our water softener. The cashier was a dark haired, somewhat pudgy dude in his twenties whose name I forgot to note. He beeped one bag, multiplied, rang up the sale, and with a straight face, said, “Two fifty six thirty four.”

I thought he was joking, as some clerks are apt to do. I gave him a moment to correct himself, before he asked, “Is there a problem, sir?”

Then I realized he actually wanted to charge a quarter of a thousand dollars for five bags of rock salt! Amazing. A cashier at Lowe’s should know better than this. I said, “Two hundred fifty bucks for five bags of salt? Think about that.”

He pondered this a couple of seconds longer than anyone should, then hit a few buttons and said, “Oh, sorry…twenty four…”

When he had done was enter a multiple of 50 instead of 5, with sales tax boosting the erroneous total to a little more than ten times the correct one.

Hey, it’s not the mistake itself that bothered me. That was forgivably human, and easy to fix. The problem was that this clueless bonehead didn’t have any idea he had made such an outlandish error, or that rock salt isn’t supposed to cost fifty bucks a bag!

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