Infamous Storm-Intercept Quotations

In the 1990s heydays of weather-discussion e-mail groups WX-CHASE, WX-TALK, and the private storm-observing listserv CFDG (now defunct), I had built up quite a collection of odd and funny storm-chasing quotes uttered from the mouths of assorted companions afield, anonymized so as not to implicate the guilty. A few more were added to the stack in the 2000s as CFDG shifted to a web forum (also defunct).

Fellow storm observers found plenty of amusement in these “.sigs”, one of which I pasted at random at the bottom of each post. That no longer is possible following the extinction and/or my disuse of those listservs and fora.

So that they may re-amuse the nostalgic, and for posterity’s preservation sake, and before I toss my old PC and/or the hard drive finally fries, I offer all the old quote signatures here that I could find. These represent the most memorable quotes, on chases, by folks I’ve chased with. The full .sig lines are reproduced below, in no particular order. Enjoy!

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“It was sort of almost maybe in the place you’d want to see for a storm like that.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2012
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::
“I FEAST ON THE SMORGASBORD OF ATMOSPHERIC VIOLENCE.”

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Torn between two towers, feeling like a fool. Chasing them both is breaking all the rules.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2011
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::
“I FEAST ON THE SMORGASBORD OF ATMOSPHERIC VIOLENCE.”

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Give me 40 acres and I’ll turn this Meatwagon around!”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1993
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::
“I FEAST ON THE SMORGASBORD OF ATMOSPHERIC VIOLENCE.”

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Just the angular momentum has to @$#%& do it! Come on!!!”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::
“I FEAST ON THE SMORGASBORD OF ATMOSPHERIC VIOLENCE.”

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Let’s forget this tornado chasing and go look for Bigfoot.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2006
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::
“I FEAST ON THE SMORGASBORD OF ATMOSPHERIC VIOLENCE.”

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“You got me outflanked with this granola-chewing, hippie-loving phone.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2009
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“There’s a deadly tower right in front of us–totally deadly.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2011
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“I don’t understand, meteorologically or common-sensically, what the deal is here.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Roger’s been farting all the time.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2005
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“We have a lot of generic hail for no apparent reason.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2003
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Hey Geraldo, is there a toilet over there? My pipes are backed up, man.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2005
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“If I get killed, it’s my own fault. Now gimme the damn camera.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Something out of this is gonna do whatever’s going to happen.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1998
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“We’re west of Hays. Hays is east of here.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2005
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“I get the impression a lot of people go to jail around here.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2010
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“I’m a f%$%@!* legend!”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“A Meatwagon in motion tends to remain in motion.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1996
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Look at this, right overhead — MOOOOOOOOOOOVE”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“I’ve got a granola-loving, hippie-chewing phone.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2010
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“You have no common sense at all!”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Stop, for the sake of my sanity!”
— 2 different storm-intercept partners, 1986 and 1991
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Into the mud, scum queen!”
— Storm-intercept partner talking to arcus cloud, 2004
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Let’s follow this sheriff. He’ll get killed before we do.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“The atmosphere just grilled us up a sphincter burger.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1998
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“At least I got my toenails cut today.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2005
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“If we had a Wichita Falls type tornado, that would turn my underwear inside out with a turd brick.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2008
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“Forget multiple vortexes, I want a single vortice.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 2013
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“What IS the hell is that?”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“If you stop, stop slowly; or I fly back into the windshield.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“You don’t understand what the deal is with these wires and my leg!”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1989
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::

***No disclaimer necessary; this is my private account!!! ***
“A Meatwagon at rest tends to remain at rest.”
— Storm-intercept partner, 1996
::::::::::::::::::::: http://skypix.ws ::::::::::::::::::::



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