No Excuse Zone: Their Cars are More Important than Yours

Months and months have passed since the previous in the series of No Excuse Zone entries in this here BLOG. Could civilization be so fortunate as to cease revealing examples of self-absorbed boneheads, clueless morons and careless slackers? Sadly, no. I’ve got two at once now, courtesy of two thoughtless fools on the east and west side of Norman this weekend, who are convinced that their vehicles are so special they deserve two parking spaces.

Selfish dolt number one decided his pickup simply was too big and/or too important for one space (wrong and more wrong!), on the north side of Saltgrass’ parking lot, Interstate Drive between Main and Robinson, Friday around sunset.

If the precious pickup is too pretty and nice to get dinged by a car door or fit a little snug in the space, then either keep it at home, or park it elsewhere, farther away, with more room (but still in just one space). 35 feet from the door of Saltgrass on a busy Friday night? Inexcusable. If I managed the place, I would get on the P.A. and announce, “Will the self-centered bozo who parked his pickup across two spaces please move it elsewhere, or we WILL call a tow truck immediately,” to which a round of applause likely would reverberate through the entire eatery.

Selfish dolt number two parked his/her cute little white Chevy like this midday Saturday, between Cane’s and Jamba Juice, 12th and Alameda…

I can forgive parking on, or even a few inches over, the line…it may be that a whole row of others did the same (not the case here), or somebody just had bad aim on any given day. But this is too far. Move it over!

Yes, these jackasses’ vehicles must be more special than yours or mine, because they somehow must take up substantial parts of two spaces! And yes, the license plates are clearly visible, on purpose.

A good friend who owned a Corvette a few years ago explained people do this to protect their car from being bumped by doors. Unfortunately, this doesn’t account for vengeful human nature, as expressed to the extreme by this gem from xkcd.com:

I’ve known some folks who will open a door deliberately hard and wide into a vehicle like these, smack it with a shopping cart, or even use a key on it. But I don’t condone such behavior at all; it’s worse than the original act, and it is illegal. Nonetheless, the real world being how it is, drivers who park like this need to understand that it increases, not decreases, the risk of vehicle damage.

By contrast, I rather would take a photo and post it online for all the world to see. So here you go.

It’s ironic that I found these the same weekend that fellow storm connoisseur and BLOGger Der Wetterensager encountered the same problem in Lubbock. [He also used the above cartoon to make his point.]

The message is clear: You’re not the only person on this Earth, so don’t act like it.

Now, I don’t believe in complaints without solutions. The solution is simple: Park in one space! DUH.



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