Best Quotes from 22 Years of Storm Observing

During my two-decades-and-change of mobile storm observing, I’ve driven at least 99% of the miles, and in so doing, chased with some very expressive and imminently quotable people. Despite my rotten short-term memory, many of their best gems of insight imprinted their way into indelibility right away. There also have been a few great ones for which I’ve kicked myself over forgetting before I had a chance to write them down!

I’ve used the quotes below as “.sig” endings for storm related e-mail lists and board postings for many years, as they gradually piled up, but for the first time I’ve decided to offer them in bulk.

These quotes (in no particlar order) represent the gamut of storm observing moments, from funny to frustrating to frightening to joyous to confused, and most certainly, temporary dementia resulting in nonsensical gibberish. The names are omitted to protect the guilty, who know who they are! >:-)

“Give me 40 acres and I’ll turn this Meatwagon around!”
storm intercept partner, 1993

“Just the angular momentum has to @$#%& do it! Come on!!!”
former NSSL crew partner, 1989

“Let’s forget this tornado chasing and go look for Bigfoot.”
storm intercept partner, 2006

“I don’t understand, meteorologically or common-sensically, what the deal is here.”
NSSL storm intercept partner, 1989

“Roger’s been farting all the time.”
storm intercept partner, 2005

“We have a lot of generic hail for no apparent reason.”
storm intercept partner, 2003

“Hey Geraldo, is there a toilet over there? My pipes are backed up, man.”
Storm intercept partner, 2005 (on the phone with Geraldo Rivera)

“Give me the @$%#&* camera! You have no common sense at all!”
NSSL storm intercept partner, 1989

“Something out of this is gonna do whatever’s going to happen.”
storm intercept partner, 1998

“We’re west of Hays. Hays is east of here.”
storm intercept partner, 2005

“Let’s follow this sheriff. He’ll get killed before we do.”
NSSL storm intercept partner, 1989

“I’m a f%$%@!* legend!”
storm intercept partner, 1991

“A Meatwagon in motion tends to remain in motion.”
storm intercept partner, 1996

“A Meatwagon at rest tends to remain at rest.”
storm intercept partner, 1996

“Look at this, right overhead — MOOOOOOOOOOOVE!”
NSSL storm intercept partner, 1989

“Stop, for the sake of my sanity!”
2 different storm intercept partners, 1986 and 1991

“Into the mud, scum queen!”
storm intercept partner talking to arcus cloud, 2004

“The atmosphere just grilled us up a sphincter burger.”
storm intercept partner, 1998

“At least I got my toenails cut today.”
storm intercept partner, 2005

“What IS the hell is that?”
NSSL storm intercept partner, 1989

“If you stop, stop slowly; or I fly back into the windshield.”
NSSL storm intercept partner, 1989

“You don’t understand what the deal is with these wires and my leg!”
NSSL storm intercept partner, 1989


One Response to “Best Quotes from 22 Years of Storm Observing”

  1. RJ on September 19th, 2006 6:44 pm

    I deny any and all possible quotes that may have slipped through my lips. I plead innocent to any and all charges. Additionally, I feel it is in my best interest to contact an attorney to mitigate any and all charges that may arise from said quotes now, or in the future



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