New Standard for Bumbling Baseball Buffoonery

Tuesday night brought about a crazy set of events that led to an American League team blowing a nine run lead (twice), setting a team record for an organization already peerless in its futility, and losing the game in the process. Guess who.

Of course, who else but the Texas Rangers?

One fine May evening in 2006, the Rangers set a team record by losing a nine run lead against the hated Yankees. Our heroes appeared to bust the game wide open with scores of 9-0 and 10-1 that seemed utterly insurmountable. Of course, this being the Rangers, the bizarre cascade of uncharacteristic individual blunders that ensued should be no surprise to longtime followers of the team. Gold Glove first baseman Mark Teixeira bobbled two bad hops and got thrown out twice (once at home) from overaggressive base running. A series of series of runs allowed by rusty relievers was capped off by closer Akinori Otsuka, who hadn’t blown a save in three weeks. With a one run lead, a man on base and two outs in the ninth, Otsuka served up a fat, juicy, 3-1 fastball that a Yankee obligingly blasted into the right field seats. Texas scored 13 runs…and lost by one.

This was the first “OH NO!” event for 2006. I’m mildly surprised it took over a month of the season to get an undeniably qualifying event, though others have been considered. The season’s still young! There’s plenty of time for more, and you can bet your bag of ballpark peanuts that it won’t be the last one for the year. Three historic entries since I started BLOGging can be found here and here.

Hey, I’ve got to have fun with this. Otherwise, how is a Rangers fan to cope? 🙂


5 Responses to “New Standard for Bumbling Baseball Buffoonery”

  1. Joel Genung on May 19th, 2006 10:01 pm

    Take solace, Roger. For 35 years now, I have been stupid enough to consistently root for, pray for and hope for the Chicago Flubs…I mean Cubs. And year after freakin’ year, they have continually reduced me to tears and have broken my heart on so many occassions, I have finally kissed it off as normalcy. Regretfully, I am certain I can count on them to do the same in 2006. Rest assured, you are in familiar company with the only difference being the League of Our Misery.

  2. tornado on May 20th, 2006 1:52 am

    The “Hell Freezes Over” World Series: Cubs vs. Rangers!

  3. Gilbert on May 20th, 2006 10:53 pm


    I bet we could do an even bigger list with our
    beloved Cubs:

    Oh, no!: One fine Saturday afternoon in May 2006 at Comiskey Park, Michael Barrett was waiting for the ball at home plate when Chicago White Sox runner A.J. Pierzynski ran him over trying to beat a sacrifice pop-up. Barrett’s reaction? He got up and punched the White Sox catcher in the jaw, setting off a wild bench-clearing melee between Chicago’s two baseball teams.

  4. chumpson on May 21st, 2006 1:37 am

    You Rangers fans have nothing on the Houston football or baseball fans! Sure, the Disastros have been better than the Rangers, but heartbreaking playoff losses may be worse than never getting close. There’s no need to go into the misery that is being an Oilers/Titans fan.

    If the Mavs manage to beat the Spurs, you’ll have little to whine about, Stinkbomb.

  5. tornado on May 24th, 2006 2:19 am

    Outside Rangers fans, only those who follow the Flubs can understand the amazing combination of ceaseless bad luck AND ceaseless ineptitude that has characterized the Rangers. The Rangers have been better (or is it worse?) at being bad since their inception in ’72, but the Flubs have a far longer tradition of it and therefore, perhaps, a greater overall volume of “OH NO!” moments. The Great Emu or the Billy Goat? Take your pick. Both eat paper. 🙂 Bring in the Hell Freezes Over World Series so we can see which truly is the most accursed!

    As for Houstink, their fans suffer not only because their teams have stupid management (Oilers), heartbreaking finishes (Oilers, Astros) or chronic lack of talent (Toxins), but mainly, because their expecations are too high. Why, I don’t know. Only the Rockets have ever done anything worth a flip in the postseason. Those of us who follow Dallas or Chicago sports at least have legendary pillars of unsurpassed championship excellence in one given sport (Cowboys for football and Bulls for hoops, respectively) upon which to concentrate our most rapt attention.

    As for the Flubs and stRangers: Every single season, year after year, decade after decade, is imploded by AT LEAST one of the classic maladies — misfortune, lack of talent, or hapless mismanagement (a.k.a. waste of talent). Never are they all absent, and often, all three conspire for new lowlights. If we took these teams too seriously we would live depressed, ulcer-festooned lives. We fans of the most chronically inept and snakebitten baseball team in its league choose instead to be entertained at each new “OH NO!” event that comes along, laughing in a pitiful way at each steaming turdpile in the grass which soils the stroll through the seasons for our hapless — yet beloved — baseball clubs.

    Cubs vs. Rangers, World Series ca. 2134?

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